“While I was acquiring it, an Apple employee — a kind of online concierge — ‘participated in the celebration’ of this acquisition via textchat. As someone who has been recommending, training users with and troubleshooting Apple equipment for over 25 years, the experience of having an ‘advocate-advisor’ during an online purchase was a kind of living science-fiction, framed as if I were having a child or acquiring a pet.

This was at once entertaining and sardonic.”