Nope

I want to make a calendar comprised of 12 photographs taken by hit-men of their favorite vegetables. Each accompanied by a paragraph about their alpha victim.

I am producing a play about the absolute necessity of never making plays. One of the characters is an exploding dog. Inexplicably, it just keeps entering the stage at various points and violently exploding, spraying gore and little chunks of bone up to 300 feet.

When I was little, I decided that when I grew up, I would make a school about not going to school except this made perfect sense because how I come up with ideas is by not going to school. Well, not entirely perfect sense.

There is a list of three tasks which, if completed in order, result in a series of inexplicable cascades of unexpected fortune. Ordinary people are best left unattended in a bag. In case of emergency, break class. Oh, yes, the tasks. One involves a walnut. The other is extremely metaphoric. You did the final one while reading this, but figuring out where that happened could be lethal.