I’ll tell you, Cinderella? She was all ‘covered in ashes’, and had stepsisters with ‘amazing dresses’? Ever seen Mars? Jupiter? Saturn? In fact, her name actually means ‘dirt’. And she had to get ‘to a ball’ on time? Right. You know this girl. You’re standing on her. That ‘fairy godmother’? Her name is Luna. The ‘glass slipper’? It was made of ice. Remember the way the others have forgotten. Cinderella? That’s our mother.