When I woke up this morning I found I had been transformed into a giant toad. So I snorted some fluoride and summoned a triad of UFOs. ‘My country is lethal nonsense’, I told them in toad-language. They teleported me to a cartoon place where the cars were made of inside-out trilobites.

“How’s this?” they asked. I explained that this was silly, and they should make our President and the people who supported him into inside-out sausages with maple cartoon diorite insignia on them so that they could be sold at Costco for a nickel.

They said not to worry, because a furtive nembosquism was going to exfoliate the differential shortly.

I do not know what a nembosquism is, but they seemed to be kindly inclined toward me.