In pushing hands, one learns to change in various ways in relation with the partner. With modestly advanced partners, the attempt to employ force will result in disaster. Possibly even injury. The ‘reason’ is that the production of force is expensive, and requires ‘commitment’. This commitment involves time in the sense that it selects a future-line, and that can be captured by any sensitive partner. Their sensitivity depends on them not being committed. More commitment? Less sensitivity. Strong commitment? No sensitivity.

In our practice, we are after sensitivity and understanding. But it’s surprising how difficult it is to unlearn force and … particularly… to unlearn… committing as a result of ‘having an idea’. In pushing hands, we are playing with time in a very unusual way… because it is obvious that actions in the future transform not merely the meaning of the past… but… ‘who moved first’ enters a superposition which is ‘only decided at measurement’ (i.e someone loses their balance).

But if someone came to push hands to played in that context the way we play in argument? Their rigidity, expectation of supremacy, and complete ignorance about receptivity and the »necessity of changing… would mean that any average player could topple them at first contact. Every time.

They would fall over. Every time. Without exception. In short, their habit would reveal its »actual result, and it wouldn’t be possible for them to lie to themselves or anyone else about it because it is simply, physically, blatantly true. Force isn’t merely indelicate or ungraceful (and it has its place), but generally speaking it isn’t force that will decide the play. It’s nuance. Listening. Sensitivity. The same is true in a contest of force, but it’s true in less nuanced, or ‘more pragmatic’ ways.

It would be wonderful if we could learn to use our minds and pursue understanding with the sensitivity of those who have acquired some modest skill at pushing hands with the goal of softness and learning (rather than victory).

One must change to proceed. Forming up and insisting upon a position … an inclination we somehow are scripted with during our enculturation… is* tantamount to rejecting our capacities for intelligence.

Perhaps someday we may be able to apply the principles of old disciplines to our relationships with language, knowledge, ideas and human societies. But even now we can, should we care to, begin to learn skills and ways of knowing that have a medicinal and restorative influence on our bodies, minds… and perhaps particularly… ‘arguments’.