“I don’t think hems get enough respect. I mean, that shit is holding your clothes together… for like… years. Everyone just thinks this is status quo. But when I was a kid, hems were like rocketships or clocks… impossible. Careful analysis of these things revealed that I could easily die before being able to make one myself. Hems are fucking astonishing. And I think they deserve a holiday. Hem day. Except we can have it in May. So then we can have both hems and a holiday called Mayhem day to celebrate them. Fuck yes.”

— Bobby Yingo in Private Intoxication