“My mom taught me to let others go first. She said that they will think I am being polite, which will impress them and incline them to think I am kind and attentive. Then she explained that the real benefit is that the lions and alligators and other hidden threats will eat them instead of me, and I will get to watch instead of becoming a snack or being obliterated. Haste makes waste, right?

I mean, think about it — the first person through the traffic light is the one that is going to get T-boned by the guy on his smartphone (boy there’s a contradiction in terms) who is running the red. Even if I had a car I wouldn’t sign up for that.

So I like to let others go first. I’m not in a hurry, and it’s always entertaining to watch them being destroyed by whatever the hell is lying in wait with dire intent. Plus there’s the added bonus of people thinking I’m nice, which, of course, simply isn’t true.”

— Bobby Yingo at the Gray Room