Once, when I was 18, someone attempted to buy me for $5.00. I feel that this was one of those signal moments of clarity in one’s life where the truth and soul of the human world stands up and boldly introduces itself. I treasure that moment. When I declined, the kindly gentleman offered to do things to one of my orifices which had never occurred to me before and which, since then, have remained protectively concealed from my memory. I was not intrigued. Nonetheless, it was a service I was done that evening, on the filthy streets of Sacramento. If someone hasn’t tried to buy you for a 5-spot, allow me to suggest that you’ve got more living yet to do.