“Dude, why are you so negative, man? Why don’t you just go with it, be positive, calm down.”

“Gee, I don’t know. It might have to do with the fact that what you are doing is analogous to inviting alligators to chew the arms off of children, and you all apparently think this heroic and even fashionable. You’re actually celebrating it. So, uh… no. Sorry. Next?”