“When we make too much radiation, we don’t want to stop poisoning ourselves and the world, and our future, because, you know, that was the goal to begin with. So what we have done is this: we raised all the standards on acceptable radiation, especially after accidents, so now… the simple fact is this: radiological poisons are something you no longer have to worry about. We’ll just raise the acceptable standards as necessary to protect you from concern. As for the radiation, we’ve determined that you don’t actually need protection from that. You were just feeling scared of the bad invisible poison. No more worries, we have it covered… up.”

— The President of the United States of America on Radiological Toxicity in the Environment following Nuclear Incidents.