“The Big Bang? You have got to be kidding. You -bought- that rigormarole? That’s the most ridiculous theory humans ever concocted. ‘All laws sprang from nada! It was accidental miracles from the backside of eternity!’ Nope.

Now, it’s a matter of personal preference, but I subscribe to the Big Band theory. This is the theory that the universe is both infinitely mysterious and subtly potential-purposive, as revealed by the fact that John Coltrane and others like him were as necessary as the mass and energy constants that cause intellectual orgasms amongst materialists.”

— an anonymous informant