“What, you never heard of an Italian mechanic? See, an ordinary mechanic uses tools. And Italian mechanic uses… well, let’s call it ‘influence’.

Now, an ordinary mechanic will take two days tell you that you need a new frongpratz assembly and, with labor, that will be $750.00. You have to pay half up front, and — if you’re lucky, rich, beautiful or polite — you can have your car back next week. Otherwise? Rush fees. We all know how this plays out.

The Italian mechanic employs a vastly superior method. Basically, he glances at your car and asks you go away for a few minutes. He has ‘a little talk’ with your car, and after that, if it doesn’t run better than new, every day, you just call him.

He charges you $100.00 up front and invites you to shop and dine at the family businesses, to which he gives you a printed guide. You can drive your car away from the meeting, and believe me, that car will be running like a dream.”

— an anonymous informant