“The only thing your solar system is crossing through on December 21, 2012 is one of the most incredible storms of human stupidity, hubris, and strident idiocy ever assembled. That does seem a bit like the end of the world, but it’s more like the end of universal patience with your complete inability to formulate a culture more advanced than those found in orangutan snot. Don’t worry, if your species keeps up like this, you’ll be gone before the next wave of highly evolved hominid stupidity hits the shore.”

— an anonymous informant