“Why do they always start with the deepest question and expect an answer matching the shallowest interpretation of it?

•How am I? Yes, I have been asking myself this same question, and let me tell you, I haven’t the slightest idea how I am. Or even how I came to be. How could I be at all? Now, if you asked me -that-, I would be interested. All of these questions are of momentous import in my mind
and life.

But you ask me how I am as if it means my general state of well-being? How the fuck did you get to that? Tell you what. If you cannot detect my general state of well-being, you’re not entitled to that information, that’s how I am.

•I am fine? Are you fucking kidding me? What, you mean you’re a product of the fine structure constant? I have many tiny hairs? What the fuck are people talking about! They are not fine! Were you ever fine? If you turn so that your side is to me and I see a thin line instead of a person, I’ll accept that you’re fine.

•Are you ok? Well, the answer to that depends on why you are asking, and the fact that you -are- asking is an ill omen at best. I cannot really remember being ok. In fact, ok is unisyllabic nonsense code that can mean anything you want it to. Further, admitting one is not nonsense code (i.e. ‘ok’) usually doesn’t actually mean that you may be about to receive aid — and this is often most true if you are actually in need of aid, assistance, understanding, or sanctuary.

This question commonly precedes the reception of a bullet of stupidity from the gun of an idiot’s mind, so when asked it I often take the 5th. Not the 5th amendment, no, the 5th meaning a fist is formed of 5 extensions in preparation for giving the kind of answer that the invitation actually warranted.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand that small talk is like testing the depths of the waters with a rock on the end of a string. But if there’s no active awareness or intelligence on the other end of the string, the whole affair becomes a surreal insult to our humanity, our consciousness, and the possibility of human intelligence.”

— an anonymous informant