It broke off a part of the president that thereafter went about of its own accord, as if animated by some inexplicable intelligence toward some constellation of errands too bizarre and obscure to suffer verbal description. There were witnesses. Some of them were children, but no one could have predicted such a thing. It seemed like a different part of the president every time it was sighted. Invariably incomprehensible events ensued upon and around its travels. Precisely 32 mailboxes in Piedmont, New Mexico were mysteriously replaced with tiny, highly-trained attack dogs that remained motionless within a levitating sphere until approached. Any approach produced a different and unthinkable event.

During one approach, a ketchup bottle became the entire history of a small village in Bulgaria. During another, while the small dog within went rabid with rage and attempted to chew its own hips off, a man in a distant passenger ship discovered he could pee music, but only when aiming at drawings of Joe Namath receiving some kind of military medal. Eventually, all of the spheres except three were either destroyed or transformed or became even more incomprehensible. Yet this wasn’t even the froth on the storm. Soon there were reports of portions of Congresspeople and Senators, gone missing, without indication of why. These were discovered to be actively catalyzing sequences of ridiculous events around the world; composing a symphony of inexplicable nonsense so absurd that mere exposure to the catalog of descriptions remains scheduled as a sanity risk.