A union is not an acquisition or a state. It cannot be merely an agreement or a habit. It is a living path. A marriage extends this fact dramatically. If the union is not already an enriching and mutual path, the marriage will exacerbate the problems involved, not improve them.

The union is like a child, which is a spirit-way, rather than a physical body. This child emerges from the ongoing development and evolution of intimacy. When this process is significantly inhibited, or ends, the child perishes. In this case, one partner may nurture the ghost of the child. We call this heartbreak.

Too often, the process of creatively developing and extending intimacy falters once one or both partners are relatively assured that they ‘possess’ each other. At this point, the path is often abandoned or left to wither, and may be traded for the ersatz comfort of habit or the seeming gratification of mere sexual contact. But neither of these can sustain the path, or the relationship.

The path is analogous to a dance or flight in which each partner creatively calls the other to excellence and growth… in its healthiest forms it is consistently healing, nurturing, and inspiring. A couple that is mutually and creatively involved in this way will exceed all expectation.