“Late at night, alone in my flophouse under the influence of infinite amounts of whiskey that is so cheap that it’s probably just fermented windex, I watch Russian shows.

This is slightly different from studying the Russian language, but nonetheless, I have a theory about this language.

As far as I can ascertain, ‘Russian’, is a language that arose from subjecting people to sudden, unexpected physical and emotional violence, recording the helpless face-noises emitted by the victims, and then collecting these together into a ‘lexicon’ of agonic exclamations.

This might be the origin of language itself, but it’s almost certainly how ‘русский язык’ originated.”

— Bobby Yingo at the Kremlin Room