Please take a few moments to create and post an entirely fictional autobiographical paragraph that represents your secret autobiography.

“Darin’s father was a largely invisible comet that struck the car in which his teenage parents were surreptitiously fornicating. After undergoing a seemingly ordinary pregnancy, his mother gave birth to a floral arrangement that spoke in ancient Greek, and sometimes Latin. Over the next few weeks, this arrangement morphed through the entire history of evolutionary forms, finally arriving at that of a human infant. Prone to spontaneous oracular utterances such as ‘Tomorrow will become the opposite of a bomb’, it was determined that Darin should be educated by ghosts. He attended school at various graveyards in Syracuse and Epidavros, where he received his DhP in Corrective Anamnesis and Figurative Pronouncements of Dire Import. Darin presently resides in a hut in the forests of Oregon with his medusa consort, Ephanathon, various exotic insects, and a bookshelf fraught with the perils of tomes retrieved from dreams. He can be reached by fasting for seven days while staring into the desiccated remains of snakes killed by lightning.”