“I tried to order a nice chicken congee. The waiter handed me a QR code to scan for the menu, which was literally on the side of the restaurant. It didn’t work. So I turned to the guy and said, “I would like the chicken congee. It’s on the sign on the side of the restaurant. The QR code isn’t working.”

He took out his phone and couldn’t get the QR code to work either, but instead of offering to get me the chicken congee I ordered and could see steaming behind the counter, he angrily said, “Only can order with QR code.”

I asked, “Okay, so do you want me to go somewhere else for food?” I used a sincere voice.

He looked me straight in the eye, getting flustered, angry, slightly kind of intense, and said, “Eat where you want!”

“Great!” I exclaimed, “I would love the chicken congee, please.”
“QR not working! No congee!” he shouted.

So I had no choice but to walk away and got some rubbery, pre-pack marinara pasta for breakfast. It came with a wooden fork that left splinters in my gums for $15.

The alternative was ten kinds of fried pork with greasy spice sauce.

Currently not a huge fan of the Singapore Airport dining options, or ethos.

The pasta was terrible but maybe the congee was worse.”

— an anonymous informant

And… my reply:

“This is clearly your fault. It’s your fault that the QR code didn’t work. You’re too weird for QR codes to function reliably in your proximity.

It’s also your fault that that you wanted actual food. Clearly, that restaurant does not serve actual food, so that conflict played into the technological conflict.

Moreover, as you are guarded by angels, they were insistent, in this case, that you not get your wish, as that would have been worse for you than getting your wish.

Finally, your ‘but wait, can’t we be intelligent together?’ orientation, is a blatant and premeditated afront to the demons that run that place, as well as the minions they employ.

I rest my case; this is all your fault.”