Ordinary person: “Hmm, I seem to have misplaced my keys.”

Me: Where are my keys???!!! Obviously a Scandinavian hit-woman broke into my house last night while I slept, poisoned everything in the refrigerator, and put arsenic dust on all my clothes and furniture. I will now have to dispose of all my possessions and move to a tiny town somewhere in the french countryside, but they’ve obviously placed tracking devices in my body after carefully anesthetizing me so I guess I am done for.

Five minutes later: finds keys I knocked off the table last night in the shoe I was burning.

I love being on the spectrum!