“I mean, when I really think about it, it would have been preferable to encounter a bear that killed and ate me, rather than the 12 years of agony visited on me when, after declaring her undying love for me… she straight up ghosted me after our first argument. At least with the bear it would have been over in a few minutes. Plus, I’d have fed a bear, which is pretty noble, and probably would have balanced my karma a bit.”

— Bears vs Girls