Inside ourselves, usually mostly subconsciously, we are running something like a life-script (see: Transactional Analysis). This was generally patched together in childhood in order to cope with situations we could not manage, as we were not managers… but children.

For most of us, throughout the rest of our lives, we are playing out, embellishing, and largely unconsciously ‘doubling down’ on this script-like construct. This generally ruins our lives in all kinds of ways, as most of the scripts have extremely bad or crazy (cognitively conflicted/broken) structures and outcomes.

Becoming conscious of this allows us to drop the script, but usually this is a practice, not an immediate switch-flip.

The problem for many of us is both very deep, and at the same time, deceptively superficial. We keep making agreements that match the script, but not our interiority … our hearts… our actual character. So there’s a scripted character dominating our emotional, creative, relational and experiential lives. And inside ourselves, this creates severe tension… because our actual interiority has nothing to do with any of that. It’s a construct.

There are many ways to deal with this, but few of us will undertake the paths necessary to do so. One simple thing we can do is not make agreements with ghost-like projections of ourselves or others. In other words, we learn to detect the strange absence of authenticity underlying the script apparatus in ourselves and others, and we refuse to make further agreements with it.

And, of course, we can also make authentic agreements with our actual character, people who relate with us authentically, and paths that are in harmony with our nature, character and developmental health. These must be carefully made and pursued, and dissolved when they veer away from our essential nature as beings, organisms, humans and vessels of awareness.