Yes, we can reassure each other. And it’s important that we do so. I want to feel accepted and liked; it’s a natural desire.

But I think I want to be intelligent (ecologically, socially, relationally, intellectually) as well, and probably more than I want to be liked — although they should go together. I want that a lot. And it’s rare. So we can also correct and improve our insight, intelligence, and opportunities together. And that’s important, too.

Sometimes this might not be pleasant. It might get tense, terse, or even severe. Experiencing correction isn’t always fun, but it should lead to improvement, not trauma.

“Girls want to be reassured — which is not to say that all people don’t, but I think women especially. I mean, even though I know those are just [expletives] who don’t know what they’re talking about, and I should just continue with my music, you know, and let them either come into the show and listen or go home and beat off, I don’t care what they do, you know, I should be able to do that, but in my insides it really hurts that they don’t like me.”

— Janis Joplin (5,597,143 likes on FB circa 2013)