I am fairly sure that if people could hear the little dramatic comedy routines I perform in total isolation with myself while I am attempting to cook (perhaps partly in the vain hope that comedy, rather than cooking skill, produces edible food)…

…that people would laugh so hard that they might lose control of certain bodily functions including but not limited to urination and breathing. And they would blame me. And then I would feed them the food. And, at least in this case? They would blame me again.