“When people who cannot tell you the meanings of the arbitrary arrangement of stones on the ground pretend that they can tell you magical things about the alignments of planets and galaxies, I would refer them back to arrangements of silverware.

Or turds. Arrange some turds before them.

“Here, this is the first ever arrangement of turds in this precise geometric sequence!” Become very excited and recommend book and website publishing endeavors. Do numeric analysis coupled with astrological projections!

Get your neighbors over and trade predictions about the great metaphysical meaning of it all. But just remember, something similar and perhaps even more profound happens just about every time you flush the toilet.

Yes, that -is- a revolution, of a kind. But it is only an apocalypse or a ‘new age’ in the very limited terrain of the porcelain thus involved.

Perhaps your mind might take a cue from this kind of revolution. Work the lever. Flush. Regularly. And then examine the bowl for any remnants of the desperately exotic waste that so often clings to the surface. It can usually be removed with a little bit of (cognitive) elbow grease; but laughter also seems effective.”

— an anonymous informant