The mechanical lady on the answer recording invites me to avail myself of ‘more options’ as if it means I am about to win the lotto whilst getting [expunged] by a group of [expunged]. I cannot really imagine any kind of telephone message option that might correspond the to flagrant suggestions implicit in her vocal music.

As if, just by choosing to explore these options I will be so deeply fulfilled that all other problems will simply fade into the blurry distance of history. And that, right there, is modern culture in a nutshell. The sexy voice on the other end will solve everything.