I’ve (almost) always had a terrible struggle with females and starting a relationship. I don’t recognize the ordinary signals of amorous affection. I do not ‘date’. I don’t do the things that other males do when they are attracted to someone, although I have gotten better and can now flirt and (usually) recognize this activity in another. But when I really like someone, I tend to become quiet, clumsy, worried that I am being judged, and effectively… I become extremely proper.

On the few occasions when my finer qualities have secretly won me a woman’s affections, I cannot bring myself to believe it, and so largely fail to notice, especially when it’s someone I am actually really interested in. Essentially, they have to bop me over the head with something really obvious for me to get that they like me.

That usually works, if it’s mutual. Even if it’s not, I’ll pay some attention to most females who do this, because it seems worthy. There are other problems… too. I love easily. Not the coupling sort of love, per se, but a deep and pure kind of love which others can mistake as courtship or flirtation… and are happy to do this (and prosecute me for it) at my expense. But for me, these feelings are almost sacred, and have something to do with romance, but more to do with profound affection. These features don’t fly well in my cultural milieu, and can get me in actual trouble with a female who I -am- attracted to. It’s a nightmare when it all comes together. The common outcome these days is catastrophe.

Oh, and there’s this other thing where I appear to cast some kind of glamor or enchantment which intoxicates a female in a way that is initially profound, but will wear off later and leave me bereft and confused about why she wanted to have babies with me a few minutes ago and is now busy courting someone else. Joy.