001316

Faceboop: “What’s on your mind, Darin?” Me: Wait, I still have a mind? And I can, like, put things on it … as if it were a shelf?

001317

“I made a typo in my mind … so I was snorting moth… that’s part of how I became a comedian…” — Bobby Yingo at the Line Dancer Lounge

001318

“Fellow humans. You have a device called a remote. And you lose it. And then you freak out because you cannot do anything without it. And you wonder: why is this happening to me? But the answer is simple. The device is simply trying to live up to what you called...

001319

If you’re absolutely certain about your 2-bit resolution argument — let’s just say that you should avoid mirrors for a while.

001320

“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.” ― Bertrand Russell, The Triumph of Stupidity