by orchaeus | May 3, 2024 | Status Update
“I mean, when I really think about it, it would have been preferable to encounter a bear that killed and ate me, rather than the 12 years of agony visited on me when, after declaring her undying love for me… she straight up ghosted me after our first...
by orchaeus | May 3, 2024 | Status Update
Every tree that’s at least as old as you has a ring for every year in your life as if they are all libraries in which every meaningful moment in your existence is recorded in a living being…
by orchaeus | May 3, 2024 | Status Update
“You’re exactly the kind of trouble my mother warned me to get into.”
by orchaeus | May 3, 2024 | Status Update
My bear suit came today!! I’m finally going to get some dates!!
by orchaeus | May 2, 2024 | Status Update
“We love American culture. There’s no other culture on Earth that we can destroy, take over, manipulate, and influence with nothing more than memes. So much less expensive than physical weapons and soldiers! With nothing more than a Bear meme, we can rip...
by orchaeus | Apr 29, 2024 | Status Update
“I’m so old that when people talk about dating I think … “Carbon 14?”.” — Bobby Yingo at the Birthday Room
